Honest Thoughts // KEF to ARN
I left my favorite scarf in the rental car in Iceland.
It seems petty, silly, insignificant - but me being me, it wasn't. Losing my scarf was a way to keep me humble. It happened to remind me that even though this was the best day of my life so far, there is room for improvement. It was a sign that there are still greater days to come.
Wow.
I arrived at Arlanda at 6am, paid an absurd amount for my taxi to Södermalm, hit the bed at my Airbnb and slept for 9 hours. I woke up at 4pm and realized my entire first day in Stockholm was nearly gone.
It was easy to slide into feelings of guilt and feeling as though I should've pushed through my exhaustion. I should've only slept a few hours so that I would've had more time to explore... but the truth is that all I genuinely wanted to do was rest in my adorable, wonderful, tiny Swedish apartment. I am on my own schedule. My plans are mine. I get to decide what I want to do. I mustn't feel guilt for displeasing someone/something that doesn't exist.
I am here for me.
I will take care of me.
I will be brave for me.
Being away from the people I love is hard. I know it is only for a few weeks, and I am absolutely having a wonderful trip and would not change where I am for the world. But regardless, I miss the people (and feline) who make home, home. Daily calls to the one I adore are not the same as seeing each other each day. I wonder how much the baby is growing up while I am away (3 weeks is a long time in baby-land!). I wish my Smuffcat was snuggled next to me in every new bed I sleep in. I yearn to talk for hours with the friends I hold so dear.
But I know everything will be there when I return. My heart is so grateful to have these things to come home to. I am lucky to have finally found such a home.
_
